Hmmm…it looks that sentence deserves some context. A series of popular videos on YouTube have had clips of Downfall, a 2004 German drama about the final days of Hitler, with the subtitles switched around to show the Führer hyperventilating over a problem such as getting banned from XBox Live rather than the collapse of his plans of global domination.

Now Constantin Films, the studio that owns the rights to the film have taken down most of the videos, much to fans’ dismay over not seeing Adolph yelling about the new iPad.

One video that has so far survived the copyright takedowns has Hitler griping about the Hitler parodies themselves, in a sly and not-so-subtle commentary on the issue of copyright takedowns in general.

By Chance Welch

The glut of recent comic book movies have shown us the good (The Dark Knight) the meh (Kick-Ass) and the ugly (alas, The Spirit), so it comes with relief that a follow-up to the all-around good Iron Man is coming out this summer.

Robert Downey Jr. will step back into the power suit for another go as swaggering billionaire and not-so-secret superhero Tony Stark. This time around, the film has a few noteworthy additions to it in the form of Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow and Mickey Rourke as Whiplash. The sequel also has recast Don Cheadle in Terrence Howard’s role as Lt. James Rhodes who eventually becomes War Machine.

Hopefully the decision ends up like how Maggie Gyllenhaal improved upon the character that Katie Holmes originated in Batman Begins. Also coming aboard the Iron Man money train is one of my favorite character actors, the cool and quirky Sam Rockwell as Tony Stark’s business rival Justin Hammer. Rockwell proved with last year’s sci-fi mindjob Moon that he could deliver an amazing performance even if he’s mostly by himself, so the chemistry between him and Downey Jr. should be worth the price in popcorn.

Director Jon Favreau, who’s doing double duty acting as Tony Stark’s confidante Happy Hogan, has stepped out from being known as Vince Vaughn’s drinking buddy in Swingers to being a prominent director with Will Ferrell comedy Elf, Jumanji sorta-sequel Zathura and the underrated Made, where he came full circle to make a funny wiseguy comedy with Vaughn.

The first Iron Man had the right mix of action, humor and Tony Stark wisecracks to keep audiences entertained. The sequel appears to have the same formula but heads in darker directions like focusing on Tony Stark’s alcoholism and his complicated relationship with new CEO of Stark Industries Pepper Potts, played by Gwyneth Paltrow.

How about the new villains? Mickey Rourke, fresh off his comeback from The Wrestler, will play Whiplash, a villain based off Soviet powered armor-wearing Crimson Dynamo and whip-wielding professional criminal Backlash.

Mickey Rourke as Whiplash with cockatoo in tow.

Note the parrot on Whiplash’s shoulder. Is this a seal of approval for badassness or what? Probably not, but it’s interesting nonetheless.

Johansson, who recently starred as Silken Floss in Frank Miller’s The Spirit, but even her smoky sex appeal couldn’t save a bomb of such proportions. Fans can trust that Favreau’s direction will have her in a role that suits her well, not just color-saturated eye candy.

Iron Man 2 premieres in theatres May 7.

Chloe Moretz as "Hit-Girl" in "Kick-Ass."

By Chance Welch

Even by today’s standards, “Kick-Ass” is incredibly violent. And that’s saying a lot for the kind of culture we live in now where it takes a lot to shock. But all it took was one 11-year old girl and a bunch of dead henchman left in her wake to have critics like Roger Ebert and Harry Knowles waging a war of words over the politics of “Hit-Girl.”

The plot is about a high school schlub Dave (played by Aaron Johnson) who is tired of being bullied and getting mugged so he takes a leap in logic and tries to become a modern-day superhero. Inspired by the heroes he reads about in comic books, he gets a reality check every time he fights. When he becomes popular he starts to step on the toes of mafioso Frank D’Amico (played by Sherlock Holmes’ Mark Strong) and his comic book-addicted son Chris (played by Christopher Mintz-Plasse) who becomes Kick-Ass’ rival Red Mist.

What I like is that Kick-Ass doesn’t fight in a way that’s slick and over-stylized like the other heroes in the fray “Hit-Girl” and her father “Big Daddy.” He’s vulnerable and human and spends more time getting his ass kicked than actually kicking ass, so naturally that means someone has to steal the show.

Chloe Moretz is up to that task as Hit-Girl, a pint-sized killer with a fondness for butterfly knives instead of…butterflies or ponies. Nicholas Cage’s scenery-chewing and acting tics are utilized fully as “Big Daddy.” I could imagine in a parallel world that Cage could be cast as a superhero, albeit one with an alcohol problem or Tourette’s.

The look and feel of the film works as a celluloid companion to the comic with its saturated colors, kinetic action scenes and a few jabs at other comic book adaptations (look for The Spirit 3 on the marquee of the movie theater in one scene.) It’s good to see that none of Millar’s comic touches were lost in director Matthew Vaughan’s (Stardust, Layer Cake) adaptation. One odd note here is that part of composer John Murphy’s score from neo-zombie film 28 Days Later is used more here than it was used in 28 Days Later.

The problem is that this unconventional superhero plays out on the screen with the usual clichés you would expect from Silver Age comics. What is Kick-Ass but the idea of Spider-Man turned on its head? Even if the film can be called postmodern for commenting on this, that doesn’t mean it is.

Kick-Ass cannot really be delineated from the other ultra-violent nerd fantasy Wanted, which Millar also wrote. Just like Wanted felt like it owed a lot to The Matrix for taking a computer nerd and making him a slick assassin, Kick-Ass is like a cruder version of Spider-Man tailor-made for teens of the YouTube generation.

As for the movie itself, it’s entertaining enough, like a movie equivalent of an energy drink. There’s plenty of action to provide a jolt, a sugary-sweet love story and some good laughs along the way but at the end of the day, it’s empty calories. There’s not much that you can’t find in other comic book films aside from a wicked (and welcome) sense of humor.

Grade: B-

Iconic poster for Conan's recent comedy tour.

Ted Turner is probably doing a Mexican hat dance right now. Conan O’Brien will return to late night on basic-cable superstation TBS in November. Yes, the same TBS that brought you Frank Caliendo and and a slew of Tyler Perry TV projects.

Not long after Jay Leno recouped his precious Tonight Show timeslot, the announcement is kind of ironic in part because he will be taking George Lopez’ timeslot. But it seems that Lopez was one of the catalysts for the deal so no acrimony there. Fans looking for a little CoCo fix have been trying to get it anyway they can, either with his comedy tour or even driving to work.

Malcolm McLaren

Former manager of the Sex Pistols and all-around punk rock provocateur Malcolm McLaren has died at the age of 64.

Born in the suburbs of post-World War 2 London, McLaren gained fame as the manager of punk pioneers the New York Dolls. But it was his idea to dress the group in Soviet Union iconography that practically doomed the band.

After the group’s dissolution, McLaren would start a clothes shop simply titled SEX which sold S&M bondage gear. At the same time, he started managing a group called the Strand who would later become known as the Sex Pistols. As the Sex Pistols became famous (or infamous), the band created controversy everywhere they went, whether it was the record labels that would consistently drop them or McLaren’s publicity stunts that thumbed their noses at the British aristocracy and the establishment in general.

McLaren’s turbulent time managing the group eventually soured around the time of “The Great Rock n’ Roll Swindle” where members of the Sex Pistols felt slighted in terms of payment and McLaren’s self-promotion. By the time that group had ceased, he had become a hitmaker in his own right in the 80′s with songs like “Buffalo Gals,” which has been sampled by artists like Mariah Carey. His song “About Her” was even featured in Quentin Tarentino’s “Kill Bill-Vol.2.”

Although he was a divisive person especially among the artists he managed, former Sex Pistols singer John Lydon and others has expressed their sympathies.

From 007 to Downing Street: Pierce Brosnan as the British prime minister in Roman Polanski's 'Ghost Writer'

By George Cagle

The Ghost Writer is, in many ways, a Hitchcockian thriller. You have the common man, a writer played by Ewan McGregor, who is unknowingly caught up in international intrigue and danger. You enjoy great moments of suspense accompanied by dark, foreboding cinematography. You also get a fantastic score by Alexandre Desplat that resembles the music of Hitchcock regular Bernard Herrmann.

Unfortunately, sometimes the movie seems tedious and even confusing as the plot progresses. However, the acting and direction makes up for it and, if you stick with it, the movie features great moments, especially the twist at the end and the final shot of the film, which is both beautiful and gloomy, a stroke of genius by director Roman Polanski.

Roman Polanski perhaps is known better nowadays for his fugitive status after being convicted and pleading guilty for sexual assault of a minor back in 1977. Just recently he was taken into custody by the Swiss police and ordered by the California Court to return to America for sentencing. Despite his personal struggles he is still great at directing films, including The Ghost Writer.

In the movie, Ewan McGregor is hired to rewrite the memoirs of former UK Prime Minister Adam Lang (Pierce Brosnan) into an interesting, readable autobiography. Regrettably, as soon as McGregor gets to Lang’s isolated mansion off the New England coast, Lang gets caught in a major scandal accusing him of war crimes. As McGregor gets to work, he finds clues from Lang’s previous ghost writer, who died under mysterious circumstances, of a possible link between Lang and the CIA. The answer, McGregor finds, is hidden somewhere in the manuscript his predecessor left behind.

The acting and direction is wonderful. Polanski allows suspense to slowly build, calmly allowing the plot to unravel. Unfortunately, sometime the movie gets a little boring as the plot unravels too slowly. Luckily, Polanski does not allow that to happen for long. McGregor plays his character as an intelligent man who refuses to be taken advantage of by nobody. Brosnan, whose character resembles, most likely intentionally, former PM Tony Blair, and Olivia Williams, playing Lang’s wife, both act well as people who believe they did what was right for their country yet still have some dark secrets to hide.

With Brosnan’s character essentially being a depiction of Tony Blair, this movie would seem to include serious political commentary. However, it is not overt, certainly not in the way Fahrenheit 9/11, J.F.K., or more recently The Green Zone are. Political commentary does not get in the way of the story.

This movie is a very good political thriller. If one can get past the occasional slow parts of the film, The Ghost Writer is entertaining and exciting.

3½ stars out of 4

Sometimes good movie franchises should quit while they are ahead and sometimes bad ones need to be taken out to the back of the barn Old Yeller style. Producers love churning out endless sequels long after the love for the original is forgotten and the formula usually works. Yes, there’s nothing new under the sun and everything has been recycled in one way or another but stay with me.

Coming back to the well too many times angers purists and Internet cranks like me but more importantly show a lack of confidence in original storytelling that could be on the marquee at your local theater instead of…say the 12th film from Friday the 13th. So here are some franchises that should be laid to rest.



Star Wars

Parent company Lucasfilm announced today that they are making a Star Wars comedy series. Remember the last time George Lucas tried comedy? We got Jar Jar Binks, which must have been some kind of a sick joke.

Meesa possible racial stereotype.

Whether it was the prequel trilogy that felt like it was cannibalizing the charm of the original, the endless number of merchandise tie-ins or the freakin’ Star Wars Christmas Special, it feels less like an expansion to the Star Wars universe and more like the law of diminishing returns or the dilution of the strength of the original three films that captured our imaginations.



Alice in Wonderland

We have the classic Disney version of Alice in animated form followed by this year’s Tim Burtonization of her. There’s creepy Alice in stop-motion animator Jan Svankmajer’s Alice. There’s angry Alice in videogame form in American McGee’s Alice. Then there’s “Ewww” Alice like in comic book legend Alan Moore’s admittedly pornographic Lost Girls series. It seems that Alice has been done to death. So what’s one more fall down the rabbit hole?

Well, for starters, there’s more to children’s fantasy than Lewis Carroll’s classic. How about an adaptation of A Wizard of Earthsea or an adaptation of one of the Artemis Fowl books?



Austin Powers

There was a time when Mike Myers was thought to do no wrong.Then there was The Love Guru. That film, with whatever criticism anyone volleyed at it, was a strange turnaround in his career. Myers is known as a perfectionist and a hard worker who spends a lot of time developing characters and screenplays but the 2008 film almost feels like a vote of no-confidence from audiences.

Not feeling the love, Mike.

So on the heels of the news that a fourth Austin Powers is in the works, it seems like that blow to his box office credibility has him treading familiar waters to gain back the love from audiences. What’s wrong with that? Well, have you seen the Austin Powers: Goldmember? I mean how could anybody improve on that? Ahem.

Myers was last seen, but probably barely recognized, playing a British general in Quentin Tarentino’s Inglorious Basterds. Maybe going outside of his comfort zone could benefit him, case in point: The untitled Keith Moon project that Myers is said to be working on.



80′s Horror Franchises

If George Lucas is soiling our collective childhood, then Michael Bay’s Platinum Dunes studio is plundering our teenage nightmare fodder. Responsible for the remakes of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Amityville Horror, the Hitcher, Friday the 13th and the upcoming Nightmare on Elm St. reboot, they’re also responsible for brutally murdering our memories of slasher glory past.

"You must be tired...You've been running through my nightmares all day."

So far we’ve got such classics as the The Hills Have Eyes and Black Christmas and the list goes on and on.



Spider-Man

Did anyone else feel a sigh of relief when Spidey 4 was axed? The first film of the series was awesome and the second built on its strengths to become one of the most critically-respected comic book movies but emo-Spider Man and the musical sequence in the third elevated it to “Richard Pryor in Superman 3″ levels of insanity.

Setting yourself on fire freebasing cocaine and drinking 151-proof rum or starring in Superman 3? Choose wisely.

Maybe there were too many villains and subplots. Maybe there was the simple fact that Tobey Maguire, 34 years old, is tired of playing someone with a cracking voice and peach fuzz for facial hair. Whatever it was should serve as a lesson for future incarnations of the webslinger, whether or not the reboot gets off the ground.



Adaptations of Asian Horror Films

Yes, I’m looking at you One Missed Call. Ever since Pirates of the Caribbean director Gore Verbinski made a decent import of the J-horror classic Ringu, studios have been churning out lesser fare. Movies like Pulse, The Grudge and its sequel spawn and The Eye are also notable offenders. What’s amazing about these films is how carbon-copy they are but without any of the feeling you get from the originals.



Pirates of the Caribbean

Speaking of Pirates, the series has followed the modus operandi of the other offenders on the list and with a fourth installment in the pipeline working without its two leads Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley, the films should have ended. Sure, everyone loves Johnny Depp’s impersonation of Keith Richards, but is that enough to warrant another film? Test marketing says yes. So expect to see Jack Sparrow for three more bloated epics.



Most Action Movie Franchises

Again we come back to Michael Bay. Bay’s endless assault on our senses the Transformers series sells tickets like it has a license to print money. And even though the sequels keep getting greenlit in spite of having explosions instead of an understandable plot.

The robot equivalent of two Jar Jar Binks.

Lethal Weapon, Rush Hour, Terminator, Die Hard, all of these franchises follow the same blockbuster formula that we love and loathe at the same time. It’s the film equivalent of movie theater popcorn with over-processed fake butter on top.

All of their stars can easily be replaced with young new talent and fans would be satisfied with cameos from the likes of Arnold Schwarzenegger (even if it’s just a CGI version of him in Terminator: Salvation). Approaching the age when they’re probably thinking less about acting and more about dying, action stars like Harrison Ford are accepting paychecks to resurrect heroes like Indiana Jones. Maybe they should take a page from Mel Gibson’s playbook, who is handing off the acting duties of the fourth Mad Max film to a younger actor. Or maybe not, seeing how there’s going to be a fourth Mad Max film.



Police Academy

Some people forget that there have been seven Police Academy films and an animated series and then some people try to forget there are that many films floating in the ether. Nothing good can come from the series, except for Bobcat Goldthwait who went on to have a respectable career as a film director.

Since the first film was released in 1984, the series has been known primarily as a) that one films with that one guy who does all the sound effects with his mouth and being the pinnacle of Steve Guttenberg’s career before he soared like Daedalus to the sun on Dancing with the Stars.  Now they’re looking for new recruits.

If there was a notable quote by Michael Winslow, it would read as an onomatopoeia.

They’ve gone through training, they’ve been on their first assignment, they even went to Moscow. There is such a thing as police brutality.

Sam Worthington and Liam Neeson in 'Clash of the Titans'

By George Cagle

The original Clash of the Titans is widely considered to be the greatest of the campy fantasy-adventure flicks. This new movie, though not reaching the level of creativity and endearment of the previous version, still manages to entertain its audience with a fun story and exciting action and special effects.

Sam Worthington, fresh off his performance as a blue cat-person in Avatar, plays the Greek mythological hero Perseus, the demigod son of Zeus, the king of the gods. Perseus, raised to be a fisherman, is caught up in a war between gods and the people of Argos. When his family is killed by Hades (Ralph Fiennes), the god of the Underworld, Perseus joins with the humans in their defiance of the gods. However, Hades threatens to unleash a monstrous creature called the Kraken, his version of a nuclear bomb, to destroy the city. Thus, Perseus sets out on a quest to find a way to kill the Kraken before time runs out, a quest that leads him against giant scorpions, three blind witches, the dreaded Medusa, and the powerful, hideous Calibos. Along the way Perseus receives help from fellow demigod Io (Gemma Arterton) and even from Zeus (Liam Neeson).

The 1981 Clash of the Titans featured stop-motion special effects from the legendary Ray Harryhausen. Though the effects are somewhat dated now, they are still a delight to today’s viewers. The new movie’s special effects are pretty good as well, though in this case CGI is used, with the best saved for the end when the Kraken is finally let loose upon the city of Argos. Though the creature shares some resemblance to the monster from Cloverfield and the University of Maryland Terrapin, his appearance is still intimidating and film’s most exciting moment. The fast pace editing and well choreographed fight scenes add to the action and exhilaration of the movie.

However, I do not recommend going to see this movie in 3-D. It was originally shot in 2-D and it was changed in post-production. Besides the movie looks just fine in 2-D.

I can not comment much on the acting because there is not much in the way of character or character development, other than in the case of Perseus. Much of the movie’s focus is placed on the computer-generated creatures and the battle scenes. The storyline itself is simple and straightforward and the script features some pretty cheesy dialogue.

Nevertheless, anybody who expects different from Clash of the Titans is foolish. The movie is not trying to be deep or thought provoking. All it tries or claims to be is an entertaining action-adventure movie and it delivers! If you want to go see a movie just to have fun and be entertained, Clash of the Titans is for you.

3 stars out of 4

By Maricruz Salinas

Don’t you wish that your school was cool and edgy? Maybe that for once, the school play could be something not from the Nobody Wants These Movies DVD bin at Wal-Mart. My high school was plagued with singing cowboys and cute country sweethearts locked together in songs of love and the country. It was disgusting. Is there really nothing better for students to sing about spinach and “termayters?” I don’t care if it won Academy Awards, Oklahoma! is the lamest thing to have ever lamed in the history of lame. The video below, on the other hand, is fudging awesome.

Behold as these children star in the elementary school production of Scarface.

Fudge yeah. Although I may have chosen Fun Dip as a substitute for cocaine instead of popcorn, it still works. Watching baby Tony Montana seizure at the end is a delight and hearing “fudge” coming from these little kids is equally entertaining. I may or may not volunteer to babysit my nieces and nephews just so I can re-enact it.

And no, it’s not real. Put down your manicured nails and get out of your vans, PTA moms. It’s fake. This is an elaborate production filmed about a month ago by Marc Klasfed, a music video director who’s worked with Jay-Z, mouse-face Avril Lavigne and the always-amusing Foo Fighters. According to the LA Times, Klasfed used professional child actors in a rented theater in Koreatown, California. The audience consisted of family, friends and random extras.

Hiccup and his dragon in Dreamworks Animation's "How to Train Your Dragon"

By Maricruz Salinas

How to Train Your Dragon will hopefully be making its appearance on your DVD shelf because it’s another animated movie that does its job better than most live-action movies.

How to Train Your Dragon takes the very classic storyline of the awkward teenager who comes to understand the misunderstood enemy and keeps it from going too cliché. Jay Baruchel (She’s Out of My League, Tropic Thunder) voices Hiccup, arguably the awesomest non-ironic name for a wimpy character. Hiccup is your average scrawny-kid-ostracized-because-he’s-lame character. He’s the son of the strongest Viking in the village, Stoick (voiced by Gerard Butler), and a complete opposite. Where Stoick is muscular and hairy and rumored to killed a dragon with his bare hands before he was ten. Hiccup is the blacksmith’s apprentice, a decision apparently made when the village decided it’s better to keep him inside than causing a calamity during a dragon raid.

Hiccup’s luck changes when trying to prove his worth to his father and the village – he unexpectedly hits a Night Fury, one of the most feared dragons the village has ever seen (mostly because it’s never been seen before). True to the story’s plot, nobody believes him and off he goes to find the dragon. He finds the dragon injured, but he can’t kill him and sets the dragon free again. He earns the trust of the dragon, names him Toothless and helps him fly again with the aid of a saddle and artificial tail wing that Hiccup makes. Following the usual pattern, Hiccup and Toothless make a great team, it’s kept a secret until surprise, surprise, something goes wrong and everybody finds out about this forbidden friendship, blah blah dragons aren’t really bad, etc, etc.

However, the way the movie executes the standard forbidden friendship storyline is great. How to Train Your Dragon is a movie about a boy and his dog (although Toothless exhibits behaviors found in both dogs and cats). Toothless and Hiccup work really well together and it is a gradual friendship that develops. Hiccup may be a total pansy when it comes to fighting dragons, but his intelligence and methods of befriending and understanding the dragons more than make up for his lack of bloodlust. The movie is directed by Dean DeBlois and Chris Sanders, the guys behind Lilo & Stitch so if you find yourself hopelessly bursting with adoration for Toothless, this is the reason. The two have proved that they know how to make an audience swoon with animated animals that lack the ability to speak (English).

The action in this movie is awesome. Avatar could’ve learned a thing or two from How to Train Your Dragon’s flight production crew because the flight scenes look and feel incredible, especially in 3-D. It definitely makes me wish my pet were a badass dragon I could fly instead of a sometimes-badass fat cat.

Ultimately though, How to Train Your Dragon, is more than a children’s film. Most people believe that all children’s films are comedies but that’s not the case here. The dialogue was clever and smart, but it didn’t set out to keep the crowd laughing. It’s an adventure movie at its core—a really cool one at that. The ending is great also, not because it’s something that you wouldn’t expect to happen (yes, everything ends happily ever after) but because for once the hero doesn’t engage in a dangerous final boss battle without consequences.

Grade: A-